Some basic facts of life which applies to the Salaried People!! HUMOR

Some basic facts of life which applies to the Salaried People!!

Bank Balance
First Week : 10000 $
Second Week : 1000 $
Third Week : 100 $
Fourth week : 10 $

Conveyance
First Week : Auto ("I can afford it")
Second Week : Share Auto ("I would like to share. I am selfless!")
Third Week : Bus ("Public figures should travel by public transport")
Fourth week : Walk ("Good for health")

Girl friends
First Week : Eena, Meena, Tina ("I can BUY love")
Second Week : Meena, Tina ("I have enough girl friends")
Third Week : Tina ("I am loyal to her")
Fourth week : "Huh! There is no pure love on earth!"

Mobile Maintenance
First Week : Frequent outgoing calls ("This is what mobile is invented for")
Second Week : Restricted outgoing calls ("I should not create unnecessary
traffic on mobile lines")
Third Week : Rare outgoing calls ("Mobile should be used in urgent
situations only")
Fourth week : Only incoming calls ("I am not going to call her until she
calls me")

And last....but not the least...

Boozing
First Week : "Come, let's go to Goa and freak out!"
Second Week : "Man, there is nothing in Goa. Let's go to Lonawala."
Third Week : "The best place to booze on earth is our house itself.
whatsay?"
Fourth week : "Drinking is injurious to health" 

4-year holiday called engineering funny humor

4-year holiday called engineering

20 things common to all engg colleges:

1). The lecturers dont teach.The students dont study.The only guy who benefits is the one who owns the 'dhaba' next to the college. 

2).Rules are made to be broken.  

3).Promises are made to be broken.
4).Deadlines are made to be extended...ALWAYS!
5). Guys always think the chics in the college next lane are more beautiful.
5).The geeks are the most pampered lot during the internal exams.
6).The lab assistants  are the most respected people(during the lab exams i.e)
7).The watchmen are the people most bribed.
8).The HOD is the person most respected(heights of sycophancy here).
9).The principal is the person most abused and insulted(behind the back i.e)
10).Dropping  subjects is 'cool'.(arre yaar..drop the idea of dropping subjects plzz).
11).There is always a  lecturer  in the college who cant speak proper 'english'.
12).Night-out  is the second most important tool to ace the exams. 

13).The most important tool..the bhramastra..is the 'chit ' in which the words can be understood only by the person who wrote them(in most of the cases i.e)
14).The  freshers are the most sought after..be it in the canteen,the 'free' periods or for completing the records,assignments.
15).The second-years  are the ones with the 'I am the don-of-the-college' feeling.
16).The third years  are the ones with the 'so-many-backlogs' feeling and the poor
souls get down to studying after bossing around in the college for so long.but the fun still continues.(I gave 22 exams last year!!).
17).The fourth years  have no connection with the college whatsoever...with no interest in ragging,pulling each other`s legs,the bday parties,the bday bums et al which they enjoyed so much till now.All they want is a good placement and a '1st-class' tag attached to their memo.
19).The first three years  are spent in cursing the college,the people there,the system et al.
20).But towards the  end of the fourth year,people tend to feel nostalgic abt the pure unadulterated fun they have had for 4 years.Now the very system they disliked,the very canteen they cursed,the time that they spent there,the bday bums they suffered..all these seem like heaven to them.

To me personally,engg has been great fun..its been a 4 year holiday to me.. studied,but had lots and lots of fun. The memories I`ll take back,the frnds that I have made here and the degree that I`ve obtained will be cherished by me..always.

HASANA MANA HAI JOKES AT BEST

School Mein Ishq Ka Naya Mahool Tyar Ho Gaya,
Class Ki Teacher Ko Papu Se Pyar Ho Gaya.

Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya,
Sari Class Fail, Aur..... Papu Pass Ho Gaya....
 
 

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Dil ki baat dil mein mat rakhna,
Jo pasand ho usse ILU kehna.

Agar wo ghusse mein aa jaaey to darna mat ,
Raakhi nikalna aur kehna pyari behna milti rehna...

 

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UNKI GALI SE MERA JANAZA NIKLA
WO NA NIKLE JINKE LIYE JANAZA NIKLA,

UNKA GHAR AAYA TO MERE DOST SITI BAJANE LAGE,
RAKHKE MERA JANAZA KAMINE USKO PATANE LAGE....
 

 
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Arz kiya hai!!!...Itne kamjor hue teri judai se...

Gaur farmaiye...Itne kamjor hue teri judai se...

Ki chinti bhi ab kheech le jaati hai charpai se....
 

 
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palkon pe apni bithaya hai tumhe,
Badi duao ke baad paaya hai tumhe,

Aasani se nahi mile ho tum
National zuological Park se churaya hai tumhe....!!!

 

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kabhi kehte the dost hamare ke jaan bhi maango to hazir hai,

Aaj apni bivi ko jaan kehte hai,Aur maango to inkaar karte hain...
 

 
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Naari ke chakkar mein bhool na jaana yaari,

Jab laat maaregi naari to yaad aayegi hamari...

Purush bachao samiti ki taraf se Janhit mein jaari....
 
 

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Aaj kuch gahbraye se lagte ho,
Thand mein kampkapaye se lagte ho...

Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,
Lagata hain Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho...
 

 
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 Batoun mein jiski rawani nahi hai,
Usay kabhi Jillat uthani nahi hai,

Yeh chehray par jo tu dekhta hai,
Woh powder hai nada(Pure)  Jawani nahi hai....


 
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College ki galion mein ajjeb khel hota hai,

Class ke bahane dilo ka khel hota hai,

Notes ki jagah luvmail hota hai, Isliye to Pappu har saal fail hota hai...


 
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Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua,
Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua, Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,

Masti Ka mastaana Hua,
Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua...


 
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Suraj se achha Tara koi nahi,
Jaisa hai Rishta humaraa dusraa koi nahi!

Chahe saari duniyaa me dhund lo;
Mere jaisa Pyaraa, aur Tere jaisa Aawaraa aur koi nahi!!


 
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Bhagwan ke naam pe 1 patni dede...
Apni nahi toh dusre ki dede...

Bhagwan tujhe 1 kay badle3 dega
Anurag ki tarah Prerna kay saath Aparna aur komolika free dega...


 
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Baithe tere khayalon mein,
Kore kagaz pe likh dala tera naam...

Tasvir bhi utaar dali,Aur likha yeh paigam...
Zinda ya Murda pakdnewale ko 5 rs inaam...


 
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Khuda kare tujhe har jagah se satkar mile,
Mujh se bhi acche yaar milen.

Rakhi ko teri girlfriend tujhe rakhi bandhe,
Aur tujhe zindagi bhar us se behan ka pyar mile...


 
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Aapke hi charche har gali mein hain,
Har ladki ke dil mein aapke liye pyar hai.

Ye koi chamtkar nahi,Time hi aisa hai...
kyonki kuch hi dino me RAKHI ka tyohaar hai... 
 

 
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Jab jab ghire badal teri yaad ayi,
Jhom ke barsa sawan teri yaad ayi,

Bhiga main phir bhee teri yaad ayi,
Ab nahin raha jata, CHATRI LAUTA DE BHAI...
 

 
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Yusuf ka husn, Zulekha ka khumaar dekha hai,
Kuch is tarah se Haseenon ka pyaar dekha hai,

Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat,
Kasm khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai...


 
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Industries sari mere yaar khaa gaye,
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar khaa gaye,

Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating,
Banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye.......