Santa Singh's wife was expecting and the baby was due any day

Jokes 1) Santa Singh's wife was expecting and the baby was due any day. Santa was very confident it would be a boy and was looking forward to the D-day. As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city and had to join office immediately. Before going, he asked his father -in-law to send a telegram confirming birth of his son. But in order to avoid giving party to his office colleagues, he asks his father -in-law to write "the watch has arrived" and he will understand that the son is born. The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl. Now Santa's father-in-law didn't know what to do. If he writes "the watch has arrived" Santa will think he has got a Son.If he writes " watch has not arrived" Santa will get worried that something serious has happened.But being a very intelligent person,he finds a solution and sends the telegram. Santa received the telegram, opened it eagerly and reads "The watch has arrived, but the pendulum is missing". 2) A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment. She asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a raspy voice, '' No health insurance.' The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, 'No money in the bank.' The nun asked, 'Do you have a relative who could help you?' He said, 'I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun.' The nun became agitated and announced loudly,'Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to GOD.' The patient replied, 'Send the bill to my brother-in-law'.